This is one of the two questions most often asked of astrologers. Love-related questions come first. Money and career issues come second. Astrologically, they're both related to Venus. Perhaps it was for good reason that the priests of several ancient cultures studied the cycles of Venus so carefully, even worshipped her.
Through its rulership of Libra, Venus corresponds to matters of relationship, social intercourse and partnership. Through its rulership of Taurus, Venus corresponds to issues of material wealth and comforts. When placed in these signs in the horoscope, Venus gives "boons" in those areas. When placed in Pisces - its signs of exaltation - Venus flourishes and blends inspiration, beauty and unselfish love.
The kind of partner we attract - and to whom we are attracted - is shaped and conditioned by our own chart patterns, our own Karma, our own configuration of astral forces. As the saying goes, "Birds of a feather, flock together". We attract - and are attracted to - people who fulfill our requirements and balance our imbalances. Sometimes our partners help us by making life easier. Other times they force us to grow by confronting us, pressing our buttons.
With adequate knowledge of our horoscope, we shouldn't be surprised when the same type of person keeps showing up, keeps finding us attractive and vice versa. Hopefully with practice we recognize the type and learn how to work with the patterns they embody. If we stumble over people with the same problem long enough, we eventually learn how to avoid them and look for those who have already overcome those problems. Better still, we learn how to help them overcome their problems. In the parlance of Tibetan Buddhism, we eventually help people embody the "enlightened" aspects of their chart patterns rather than the samsaric ones. In so doing, we all become more enlightened.
Perhaps. Contrary to the notion implied by the expression "soul mate", no two charts are perfectly compatible, even those of identical twins. All horoscopes contain imbalances and challenges. Even if we shared the exact same birth chart with another individual, the chart we shared would be imperfect, containing discord within itself. Besides, if any horoscope or individual were perfectly balanced, life would become boring. We'd soon look elsewhere for challenges and opportunities to grow.
It's more likely that we will meet people like ourselves: people with a mixture of strengths and weaknesses. Our strengths will help them overcome their weaknesses and vice versa. In the end, this is probably a more satisfying arrangement than the fictional ideal of a perfect match with whom we have no conflicts. As the old saying goes, true marriage is a matter of give and take.
Our partners are seen primarily through the seventh house, the planets which occupy it and the planets which rule it. In addition, traditional astrological reasoning tells us that men in the chart of a woman are symbolized by the Sun and male partners by Mars. In the chart of a man, women are symbolized by the Moon and female partners by Venus.
From a more Taoist perspective the Sun and Mars describe the Yang partners of those who play the Yin role in a relationship. Similarly, the Moon and Venus symbolize the Yin partners of those who play the Yang role in a relationship.
In simple text-book cases, partners can be easily described using only one or two symbols, but in real life the energies which describe our partners form a complex and often contradictory mixture. For an example, let's investigate the horoscope of famous actress, activist and philanthropist Elizabeth Taylor. With sensual Scorpio rising her seventh house is therefore sensual Taurus.
There are no planets in her seventh house, but that didn't stop her from having eight marriages - including two to the same man (Richard Burton). We therefore look next to the planet which rules Taurus, namely Venus. We observe that Venus is in its sign of exaltation: Pisces. This strengthens Venus considerably.
Furthermore, Venus is the fifth house. The yoga or chart pattern is an exalted ruler of the seventh house of partnerships, in the fifth house of romance and love affairs: a romantic yoga indeed.
The fifth house is one of the houses where planets are strengthened automatically (it's one of the trinal houses: 1,5,9). Venus is even stronger because it receives a Trine aspect from Jupiter and Jupiter is exalted in the constellation Cancer !
Therefore while her seventh house is empty, its ruler or lord Venus is very well "disposed" or conditioned by its placement in signs, houses and aspects from other planets. The stronger a planet, the greater its opportunity dispense its gifts. In this chart Venus radiates beauty, romance, love and partnership in super-abundance. Viva Venus !
But wait: there's more. Venus is closely conjunct Uranus in this chart. The planets are within a fraction of a degree of one another in longitude and declination. At the time of her birth, there was an occultation - an eclipse of sorts - where Venus and Uranus were in the exact same position. This is quite powerful and quite rare: a super Venus/Uranus combination.
Because Uranus brings uniqueness and combines with a sublimely disposed Venus, her beauty gets to be unique, special. Elizabeth Taylor is not just another Hollywood blonde bombshell: she conveys a sense of thoughtfulness, kindness, tenderness, idealism. This idealism works well for her in the arts, but can present challenges in her personal life.
Other than Mars, it's hard to imagine a more stimulating influence than Uranus on natal Venus. According to The Astrologer's Handbook by Sakoain and Acker, people with Venus conjunct Uranus are
Ms Taylor's natal Sun is in close opposition to Neptune. Neptune brings an inspiration and spiritual revelation that can also be indistinct and changeable. It refuses to be pinned-down or defined. When it functions as a partnership symbol in the horoscope, who we are and who we attract can be difficult to grasp. With this kind of chart pattern we can often find ourselves gazing at our partner and wondering: "Is that the same person I married ?"
Sun/Neptune aspects are favorable indicators of talent and inspiration in the creative arts but can bring serious challenges in personal relationships. Remaining objective and clear about our partners can be difficult at times.
According to The Astrologer's Handbook by Sakoain and Acker, the opposition of Neptune to the Sun in a natal chart
Ms. Taylor's Sun is in Aquarius and her Moon is in Libra: both Air signs. Her Mars is in Aquarius, the Air sign known for its need for freedom and "space" in relationships. As her Venus is conjunct Uranus which rules Aquarius, the symbolism is repeated thrice-fold and more: her partnerships will be sudden, unusual and unstable. We've pointed out that people with an excess of Airy symbols require a lot of variety in life. They thrive on it.
Sun conjunct Mars in the chart of a woman looking for a man ? Relationships can be extremely passionate and exciting. They can also be prone to argumentation and "flying saucers" around the home.
When the Sun is in the 7th house - or rules it - or aspects its ruler - our partners, whether male or female, need to play an assertive, directive and creative role. They will be persuasive, magnetic, dramatic, magnanimous and flamboyant. The Sun symbolizes bosses and authority figures.
When the Moon is in the 7th House - or rules the 7th house - or aspects the ruler of the 7th house - our partners, whether male or female, need to play a supportive role. They will be kind, gentle, domestic, traditional, sensitive and caring.
When Mars is the partner symbol, our "types" needs to be physically stimulating, adventurous and bold. We want them to take the initiative. They can be bossy, but they can also be the catalyst we need to make important changes in life.
When the partner symbol is Mercury, our partners will be youthful and intellectually stimulating. They will be inquisitive and exacting.
When Jupiter describes our "type", our partners are seekers either symbolic or literal: they are broad-minded, often from a foreign culture or land. Their jovial and optimistic spirit helps us remain cheerful and keep focused on moving forward.
When our partner symbol is Venus, our partners will be elegant, attractive and concerned with comforts and harmony. We look to them for peace, justice and beauty.
When Saturn is our main symbol of partnership, we need an adult influence in our lives. Our partners bring us down to Earth and teach us the value of taking care of the important things, not just the fun things in life. Their influence can feel confining and heavy, but by heeding their advice we move forward.
When the North Node influences our partners, they tend to be worldly, powerful and driven to accomplish great things within society. When the South Node has the influence, our partners can be other-worldly or work outside of the cultural norms. They can be hard to handle and at times, quite unpredictable.
When Uranus symbolizes our partners, they can be unusual and eccentric or ahead of their times. They need freedom and variety in the relationship and prefer to remain formally unattached or untethered.
When Neptune describes our partners, they are idealistic and romantic. We may be searching for the perfect partner. Sometimes we seek partners who we can rescue from fate and from themselves.
When Pluto describes our partners, they are intense, secretive and sexual. They attract us by a hidden magnetism and prefer to keep us under their control.
These standard delineations can also be judged by looking at the seventh house from the Moon. If a pattern in the natal chart shows up again in the Moon chart, the astrologer can describe it with greater confidence.
For example, Elizabeth Taylor's Moon is in Libra, in the twelfth house. Seven houses away from that, we find Aries and her 6th house. Her sixth house is empty of planetary occupants, so we look next to the planet which rules that house, namely Mars, since Mars rules Aries. Her Mars is in Aquarius, so we can add yet another Aquarian symbol to the already-long list of "airy" or changeable influences which describe her partners.
Since her Mars is Yang or masculine by nature and Mars is conjunct the Sun which is the prime Yang symbol, we can add that her partners in general should be very Yang indeed: sensational, energetic, dramatic. Such partners can be very... assertive. That was her experience.
Does astrology teach that my partners should be of a certain type, or that they will be of that type? The answer is a resounding... yes !
The basic premise of astrology is that the fundamental patterns of life can be described and in large measure predicted in advance, as early as the birth of an individual. If the predictions are wrong or fail to materialize, the astrologer is likely using methods and techniques that are unsound or unreliable.
The other possibility (which happens more often we'd like) is that the birth data provided to the astrologer is wrong. If the birth time is off by even a few minutes, it can change the horoscope dramatically. For this reason it is not uncommon for some astrologers to "test" a chart against a few known life events before making important predictions.
What the study of astrology so clearly reveals, is that our partners are drawn to us according to what they vibrate - and even more importantly - what we vibrate.